I'm not one to complain about the school system, know that right off. I'm not one that demands my child is an angel, Lord knows he's not. When you send your child off to school, you pray for protection knowing there is none with the schools. You pray that bullies stay at bay, and your child can pull through when those bullies do get to close. But what happens when this bully is one with special needs?
Things have been crazy around the Bean home lately, and today was the first day after many that I was able to sit with Elijah to talk about school.Because of Elijahs Autism when things happen to him he isn't the type to come right over and tell you. He has always been told to speak with an adult if he can't fix the situation himself and the bully continues. Sitting with Elijah today in his very carefree way began to discuss school with me, all about his friends and favorite things. I asked him my normal question, have you been making friends? His answer yes, except for one certian kid. So I said ok keep your distance and if it continues get an adult. He began to inform me he did tell his helper, and nothing was done. So I began to ask what happened, a kid in another special needs class twice the size of Elijah with downs continues to spit on him. Elijah has gotten to the point where when this kid spits on him he just doesn't trust the teachers any longer and deals with the spit.
Ok I get it and fully understand the kid has downs, but do we just allow him to continue to put another childs health in danger because of the special needs? Does one special need require less teaching then the other? Does allowing a child with special needs to be a bully the right way to handle it? Elijah is a very loving young man, wants to be friends with anyone and everyone( If you've seen the movie Radio, that is elijah to a certain extent) . But when he does as he's told and gets an adult. Then told to stop taddling, to return back to his table to be spat on more is that the right way to handle it?
As a mom with a kid with special needs we've always told Elijah rules apply to him as they do with a regular child. Just because he has autism doesn't mean he has the freedom to hurt people, and be rude and disrespectful. I believe my child should get the same freedoms as any regular kid, if a regular kid came up and spat on Elijah it would be a big ordeal, but because it's a special need nothing is done.
The reason it's a big deal for us is Not only does Elijah have all these other issues he has Cystic Fibrosis. If a child spits on him that is sick, it can put elijah in the hospital which in turn Gets my middle son sick who also has CF. That in turn takes my husband away from work and our whole family life turned upside down. A Kid not delt with can cause many issues, special needs or not. So how do I go about teaching Elijah that adults are there to protect him? when the adults do nothing to protect him?
I just am trying to understand. Understand why my child is less important then teaching another child the right behavior. Removing a child that is putting another child at risk, not discipling the child that is being spat on. It just doesn't make any sense to me, and if it doesn't make sense to me it sure doesn't make any sense to Elijah.
So I will continue to teach Elijah the love of Christ, Forgive others, Love others and avoid those that bring harm. I will continue to teach him that adults are to protect, and if that isn't happening go to the next adult in line which is me or his father. I can't protect Elijah all day, I have to allow him to learn how to deal with this world, but I can expect when harm is coming his way those in charge to protect him not turn a deaf ear and blind eye. So begins the battle with the school.. Yeah for me.... NOT!
